Friday, March 9, 2012

Cancel Your Credit Cards Before You Die


"Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy"

The bureaucrats and the morons who help to run the absurd show in which we all unfortunately star at times, can and often do make one’s life a completely and unnecessary misery. Hence my blog. We need to start to fight back!

But the trouble is these idiots don’t even stop hassling you after you are dead – well, not you, of course, but your loved ones that you have left behind.

If you haven’t made a will and keep finding excuses not to, stop with the excuses and make one today. You can always change it later if your circumstances change (lottery winners contact me immediately!). If you don’t leave instructions as to how your estate is to be split up, what is to be done with you possessions, etc., then it will just be leaving a mess for your relatives to sort out. There will be a multitude of morons waiting to pounce to make their lives difficult. And it will mean increased lawyer’s fees too.

Oh yes, and cancel your credit card as well – before you die if you get the chance!

Why do I say that? Well read this story. It didn’t happen to me (well, of course, not I’m still alive and writing this blog for goodness sake!). What I mean is it didn’t happen to anyone I know, and unfortunately I don’t know the origin of the story otherwise I would happily source it. But here it is anyhow.


In January 2007 an elderly lady died. Her bank, a world renowned bank, (Citibank it was) however decided to bill her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card. Naturally, being a greedy bank, they added late fee penalties and interest on the monthly charge. The balance, which was $0.00 at the time of the old lady’s death, now became somewhere in the region of $60.00USD.

A family member telephoned Citibank and what follows is a transcript of the conversation. It may make you smile at the inefficiency, stupidity and intransigence of the employees at the bank. On the other hand it will probably make you cringe.


Family Member: “I am calling to tell you that she died in January.”

Bank: “The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.”

Family Member: “Maybe you should turn it over to collections.”

Bank: “Since it is two months past due, it already has been.”

Family Member: “So what will they do when they find out she is dead?”

Bank: “Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!”

Family Member: “Do you think God will be mad at her?”

Bank: “Excuse me?”

Family Member: “Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?”

Bank: “Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.”

Supervisor comes to the phone:

Family Member: “I'm calling to tell you, she died in January.”

Bank: “The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.”

Family Member: “You mean you want to collect from her estate?”

Bank: “Are you her lawyer?”

Family Member: “No, I'm her great nephew.”

(Lawyer information given)

Bank: “Could you fax us a death certificate?”

Family Member: “Sure.”

(fax number is given)

After they get the fax:

Bank: “Our system just isn't set up for death. I don't know what more I can do to help.”

Family Member: “Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care.”

Bank: “Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.”

Family Member: “Would you like her new billing address?”

Bank: “That might help.”

Family Member: “Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69.”

Bank: “Sir, that's a cemetery!”

Family Member: “What do you do with dead people on your planet?”


Have you had similar experiences? Send them along. Let the world know what is happening before it is too late.

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