“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
It happened
on 12th December 1998, in
Quebec, Canada.
Kevin Mackle,
a 19-year-old student, who had been celebrating the end of final exams with
friends, managed to kill himself at Bishop's University while shaking a
420-kilogram Coke machine.
He died
beneath the soda machine, asphyxiated, with a blood alcohol level slightly over
the legal driving limit.
His last act
was committed in vain. "Even as it
fell over, the vending machine did not let out a single can," the
coroner reported.
Soda-holics,
and particularly stupid ones, take note! The report also states that toppled
vending machines have caused at least 35 deaths and 140 injuries in the last
twenty years.
Mackle’s
family questioned the official version of events, and sued Coca-Cola, two
related companies, and Bishop's University for "gross carelessness." They even suggested several reasons
why Kevin's death was not his own fault. Shaking coke machines "was common practice at the
University." Furthermore they speculate that unknown persons might
have crushed Kevin with the vending machine in a bizarre murder, as it "would be difficult for one person to
move" the Coke machine.
As is sadly
always the case, in response the company has been forced to add an idiot
warning label to their machines. A spokesperson for Coke said that Canadian
machines are now labeled with a warning that "tipping or rocking may cause injury or death." They have
also installed anti-theft devices in newer models to keep people from obtaining
free drinks.
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