Showing posts with label transportation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label transportation. Show all posts

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Another Few Funnies For Friday


“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”



It’s Friday again so time for another few funnies. This time another batch from the insurance claim file. I hope you enjoy.



"I was driving along the motorway when the police pulled me over onto the hard shoulder. Unfortunately I was in the middle lane and there was another car in the way.."



Q: “Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?”
A: “Travelled by bus?”



"On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke."



"First car stopped suddenly, second car hit first car and a haggis ran into the rear of second car."



"The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention."



"The accident happened when the right front door of a car came round the corner without giving a signal."



"My car got hit by a submarine."


(The Navy informed the wife of a submariner that the craft was due in port. She drove to the base to meet her husband and parked at the end of the slip where the sub was to berth. An inexperienced ensign was conning the sub and it rammed the end of the slip, breaking a section away, causing her car to fall into the water. The Navy paid the compensation claim.)



"I bumped into a lamp-post which was obscured by human beings."



"The accident was caused by me waving to the man I hit last week."



"I knocked over a man; he admitted it was his fault for he had been knocked down before."


"A house hit my car."

(A house was being moved by a large truck. My friend had his car parked on the side of the road correctly. The house began to tilt off the truck and eventually fell off the truck, landing on my friend's car. He eventually had the insurance paid, after lengthy explanation and the moving company confirming the story.)




Sunday, June 17, 2012

The Things People Say – To Their Insurance Companies


“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


Always try to start the week with a smile. This time it is with the help of another helping from those rather confused citizens who write reports to their insurance companies after an accident. They always make interesting reading and usually raise a smile or two.

As ever, hope you enjoy.



I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.



A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.



The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.



My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle.



When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.



To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian.



I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.



The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle.



I was backing my car out of the driveway in the usual manner, when it was struck by the other car in the same place it had been struck several times before.



I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries.



I saw her look at me twice. She appeared to be making slow progress when we met on impact.



The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing.



The car in front of me stopped for a yellow light, so I had no choice but to hit him. (She pushed him through the intersection)



The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him.



The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.



I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.



The pedestrian had no idea which way to run as I ran over him.



The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again.



I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.



A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.


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