When One Door Shuts, Another One Closes

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

It never ceases to amaze me how really dumb some people are. We seem to have bred an incredibly stupid generation of people, and unfortunately the next generation is showing further signs of further intellectual deterioration too. It’s a good argument against a theory of deterioration rather than evolution!  

I’m not just talking about some people not being able to grasp quantum physics theory. I’m talking about morons who cannot grasp the fundamentals of life.

For example, my blog friend AirportsMadeSimple.com recently posted an article about a new app for phones giving people information about how to eat correctly. I know this app was probably more than that, but it made me comment that soon people will need an app to know how to chew and then swallow. It really does seem to be getting that bad.

One of the first things we learn as children, after first words, first steps and all that good stuff, is how to navigate the great barrier that we call a door. Most children master this without too much difficulty  -  the opening bit at least, kids are not so hot on closing doors which does provide more than a little irritation at times. For many years we have had ordinary doors and still do in most places.

I’m sure this is not the reason at all, but I like to imagine that the people who invested the automatic door did so because they recognized that idiots couldn’t handle ordinary doors.

We all know how they work, you walk up to them, a sensor recognizes you are there, the door opens automatically, and you walk through.  

Easy?

For normal people, yes. For the stupid beyond belief, no!

Have a look at the videos. By the way, there’s one showing a woman and one showing a man. There is absolute sexual equality when it comes to morons.

Enjoy or cringe or hide behind the sofa.   

(Acknowledgements to FunnyEmails for bringing this first one to my attention)

Collisions, Crashes, And Calamities.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

We’ve touched on this subject before but there are far, far too many idiots allowed to be put in charge of motor vehicles. Inevitably these morons at one time or more end up crashing, sometimes it is a solo effort, at other times they take some other unfortunate with them.

However it happens, the inevitable result as well as the police becoming involved is that the insurance companies are quickly brought on board to fight the cases.

Here are a few descriptions given by some intellectually challenged drivers to their insurance companies trying to explain the mayhem that they had caused.

Poor doggie. You’ll see what I mean.

Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.

As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

I saw two kangaroos having it off in the middle of the road. So I hit them, which caused me to ejaculate through the sunroof.

I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of the way when I struck the front end.

I pulled in to the side of the road because there was smoke coming from under the hood. I realized there was a fire in the engine, so I took my dog and smothered it with a blanket.