All Men Are Created Equal – Really?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

There was always something wrong with the phrase “All men are created equal”.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s a wonderful aspiration but it’s just not true. Yes everyone should have an equal chance to do what they want to do and have equal rights, which I think is really what the phrase is meant to say.

But for better or worse people are not created equal. Some are academically gifted, but they couldn’t screw in a light bulb! Other people can wire up an entire house or building effortlessly, but academically don’t perform. There are people with natural practical skills and people who are exam passing machines. One one isn’t better than the other – just different.

Sadly western society’s answer to the fact that we are different is to try to make us all the same and that just does not work. In Britain for example, the government’s answer was comprehensive education. Piling everyone in to the same classes, where no one could learn faster than the dumbest person in the room. In the US there is little financial incentive to attract talented teaching staff, without which the standards in schools cannot progress, quite the reverse in fact.

On the other hand, for many years in communist regimes where everyone was supposed to be the same, those who had a talent, whether athletically and otherwise, were given far greater encouragement to development than the rest.

If you have a gift or talent for playing a musical instrument like the violin or piano you should be allowed to study in a specialist music school. If you have a gift or talent for academia you should be allowed to progress through university, get your PhD and cloister yourself away doing research that may or may not have practical applications that you will never realize. If you have practical skills you should be encouraged to learn a trade to enable you to earn a good living doing something you are good at and enjoy. And if you have an entrepreneurial flare you should be assisted and encouraged to create companies and employ people, not hampered by stupid bureaucrats who try to enforce even stupider and unnecessary government regulations and restrictions on you.

And so on, and so on.

All this can be illustrated, as can most things, with a graph called a normal distribution curve (sometimes also referred to as a “standard deviation curve”). This is just a fancy name for a graph that shows that the vast majority of people are relatively close to “normal” in that they conform more or less to a standard, whether that be IQ, height, weight or whatever.

Take intelligence for example. At one extreme end of the IQ scale (say less than 1% of the population) you have the Einsteins and Mozarts whose gifts in their respective categories are well beyond the norm. And at the other end of the scale you have the people who do not express a talent for anything. Certainly not anything productive and useful.

These are the people who invariably are employed by the government and big corporations and who quite often unnecessarily make our lives a misery. We have already looked at some examples of these people in this blog, and will no doubt do so again.

On the other hand there are people like the painter on the scaffolding whose dumbness serves, perhaps to frustrate a little, but mostly to entertain.

Our late friend from yesterday, George Carlin, expressed the problem very well. George said, “Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!” 

Here are a few other examples.

There was the guy, identity unknown, who in 1976 made the most unsuccessful hijack attempt ever. On a flight across America, he rose from his seat, drew a gun and took the stewardess hostage.

"Take me to Detroit," he demanded.

"We're already going to Detroit," she replied.

"Oh... good," he said, and sat down again.

Or the three British men who, in August 1975, were on their way in to rob the Royal Bank of

Scotland at Rothesay, when they got stuck in the revolving doors. They had to be helped free by the staff and, after thanking everyone, sheepishly left the building.

A few minutes later they returned and announced their intention of robbing the bank, but none of the staff believed them. When they demanded 5,000 pounds in cash, the head cashier laughed at them, convinced that it was a practical joke.

Then one of the men jumped over the counter, but fell to the floor clutching his ankle. The other two tried to make their getaway, but got trapped in the revolving doors again.

And just in case you think I’m just picking on the unfortunates in the US and UK, what about 52-year-old Walter Schoegl, the drunk bank robber in Mainz, Germany, who tried to hold up his local bank armed with a water pistol and a potato peeler, and with a stocking over his head?

He demanded cash, but left with nothing after the bank teller told him that the bank had run out of money.

When he was arrested about five minutes later he was still wearing the stocking on his head.

And finally, a short scene showing a similar kind of bank raid. It's from a 1989 movie called "Three Fugitives", if you haven't seen it or heard of it, it's well worth a look. 

More On Banks! (Get It, Eh?)

"Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy"

We talked before about banks. I have a feeling they will feature from time to time in a blog like this because nothing and no one has done more to mess up the lives of ordinary decent people.

On a national scale they have lost fortunes, used their political influence to make even stupider politicians bale them out with OUR money and without our permission, and are now proceeding to lose another fortune, whilst at all times paying themselves huge bonuses for their incompetence.

On this occasion I was in my local branch. The branch where I set up my accounts. The branch where they know me, and have done for years. The branch where I visit, maybe once a month now, it used to be a lot more frequently but what with internet banking nowadays there isn’t so much need to go there in person.

But that day I’m in the bank, in person. I have two accounts, a current account with check book and debit card and a savings account also with a debit card. Both debit cards are identical except for the numbers.

First order of business that day was to lodge a couple of checks into my current account. Somebody had actually paid me for doing something. Hurrah!

I handed over the current account debit card and the checks and the girl behind the teller’s counter logged everything in, I signed a deposit slip and she gave me the card and receipt. Easy-peezy!! (Not sure how to spell that, but never mind.)

I wanted a little bit of cash too. So I took my savings account debit card out of my wallet, set it down on the counter and told the girl, the exact same girl, what I wanted.

“Do you have any I.D. ?” she asked.

“What do you mean?” I replied.

“I need to see some form of identification,” she said matter-of-factly.

“Hello,” I said. “H-E-L-L-O!!! It’s me. I’m here in front of you and have been for a while. You remember I’m the guy who just deposited those checks into my account?”

Thankfully she remembered. We were getting somewhere.

Or were we???

Nope, I guess not. She still couldn’t give me my money without some ID. And of course I hadn’t any on me, never thought it would be needed for a little job like this.

There were other customers waiting to be served, but I didn’t care. I felt compelled to try to expose the absurdity of what was happening as best I could.

I took a small step back from the counter.

Then I took my current account debit card out of my wallet again and placed it in my left hand. I did the same with my savings account debit card, only placing it in my right hand.

I held up my left hand clutching the current account card, explaining what it was, and said to the girl,

“Now you know who I am, right?”

She agreed. She couldn’t see what was coming next, dear help her.

Then I put my left hand down by my side and held up my right hand, this time clutching the savings account debit card, and explaining to her what it was.

“Now you don’t know who I am, and I need ID before you can do anything, right?”

They may have been eager to get on with their own business, but most of the customers seemed to enjoy the demonstration. Even the guy at the other teller’s window stopped what he was doing and watched, smiling. I think he’d been through a similar experience.

I had brought the whole bank to a standstill.

“Sorry, I don’t understand,” the girl behind the counter said.

A few of the other customers could be heard giggling.

That got her flustered, but she tried to go on, by way of attempting to explain this totally pointless and idiotic supposedly security procedure.

I interrupted her.

“Look,” I said. “I have been a customer of this bank, in this branch for more years than I really care to remember. You know who I am and you’ve known who I am for years. But now, because some half-wit in your head office has sent you a sheet of paper with an “I need to see ID” box on it that has to be ticked, all of a sudden you don’t know who I am. Have I got that about right?”

She didn’t answer. She didn’t know the answer. In fact she didn’t even know there was a problem that needed an answer.

The morons they put in these jobs nowadays are only trained and capable of ticking a box, not thinking outside one, to apply a little common sense to a situation.

The only place I was heading with this girl was smack dab into one of those stupidity loops I talk about from time to time. “I need to see ID. I haven’t got ID with me but you know me. But I need to see ID. No you don’t. Yes I do…..”

I shook my head, put my cards away and turned round to apologize to the folks in the queue I had kept waiting. They were all fine about it. There were even a few mumbles of “It’s fine”, “no problem”, one guy even said, “forget it they’re stupid in here anyway”, and away I went.

I didn’t go very far. Outside the bank I found an ATM and stuck my savings account debit card into it. Thankfully the ATM machine knew me without ID. I smiled into the camera, pointed at my face and mouthed the words “It knows me”. I pressed a few buttons and hey presto, got my cash. 

I think the world is a poorer place when the only sensible things you get to talk to are machines, but sometimes you just don’t have a choice!

Have you had similar experiences? Send them along. Let the world know what is happening before it is too late.

Cancel Your Credit Cards Before You Die

"Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy"

The bureaucrats and the morons who help to run the absurd show in which we all unfortunately star at times, can and often do make one’s life a completely and unnecessary misery. Hence my blog. We need to start to fight back!

But the trouble is these idiots don’t even stop hassling you after you are dead – well, not you, of course, but your loved ones that you have left behind.

If you haven’t made a will and keep finding excuses not to, stop with the excuses and make one today. You can always change it later if your circumstances change (lottery winners contact me immediately!). If you don’t leave instructions as to how your estate is to be split up, what is to be done with you possessions, etc., then it will just be leaving a mess for your relatives to sort out. There will be a multitude of morons waiting to pounce to make their lives difficult. And it will mean increased lawyer’s fees too.

Oh yes, and cancel your credit card as well – before you die if you get the chance!

Why do I say that? Well read this story. It didn’t happen to me (well, of course, not I’m still alive and writing this blog for goodness sake!). What I mean is it didn’t happen to anyone I know, and unfortunately I don’t know the origin of the story otherwise I would happily source it. But here it is anyhow.

In January 2007 an elderly lady died. Her bank, a world renowned bank, (Citibank it was) however decided to bill her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card. Naturally, being a greedy bank, they added late fee penalties and interest on the monthly charge. The balance, which was $0.00 at the time of the old lady’s death, now became somewhere in the region of $60.00USD.

A family member telephoned Citibank and what follows is a transcript of the conversation. It may make you smile at the inefficiency, stupidity and intransigence of the employees at the bank. On the other hand it will probably make you cringe.

Family Member: “I am calling to tell you that she died in January.”

Bank: “The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.”

Family Member: “Maybe you should turn it over to collections.”

Bank: “Since it is two months past due, it already has been.”

Family Member: “So what will they do when they find out she is dead?”

Bank: “Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!”

Family Member: “Do you think God will be mad at her?”

Bank: “Excuse me?”

Family Member: “Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?”

Bank: “Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.”

Supervisor comes to the phone:

Family Member: “I'm calling to tell you, she died in January.”

Bank: “The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.”

Family Member: “You mean you want to collect from her estate?”

Bank: “Are you her lawyer?”

Family Member: “No, I'm her great nephew.”

(Lawyer information given)

Bank: “Could you fax us a death certificate?”

Family Member: “Sure.”

(fax number is given)

After they get the fax:

Bank: “Our system just isn't set up for death. I don't know what more I can do to help.”

Family Member: “Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care.”

Bank: “Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.”

Family Member: “Would you like her new billing address?”

Bank: “That might help.”

Family Member: “Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69.”

Bank: “Sir, that's a cemetery!”

Family Member: “What do you do with dead people on your planet?”

Have you had similar experiences? Send them along. Let the world know what is happening before it is too late.