A Few More Funnies For Friday

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

I have the pleasure of presenting another lot of public faux-pas from the quiz show stable. These are a constant source of amusement for me, and I hope for you too. The sheer absurdity of some of the answers just leaves me in amazement at what is going on inside these peoples’ heads.

In this lot “Name a bird with a long neck” was my favorite, but have a read through them and pick your own winner.

Enjoy.

Name a part of the body you have more than two of:

"Arms.."

Name something you do before going to bed:

"Sleep.."

Name something you might do in a power cut:

"Read a book.."

Name a famous Parisian landmark:

"Hawaii.."

Name the first place detectives look for fingerprints:

"The floor.."

Name something you associate with the sea:

"A coffin.."

Name a famous Arthur:

"Shakespeare.."

Name something people take to the beach:

"Turkey.."

Name something a girl should know about a man before marrying him:

"His name.."

Name a bird with a long neck:

"Naomi Campbell.."

Name an item of clothing a woman might borrow from a man:

"Underpants.."

Name something taken from a hotel as a souvenir:

"The lamps.."

Name something you keep in a garden shed:

"A gardener.."

Name a song with moon in the title:

"Blue Suede Moon.."

Name a famous cowboy:

"Buck Rogers.."

Name a famous Wild-West character:

"Wild Bill Eacock.."

Name a fruit used in fruit salad:

"Cucumber.."

Name something you wear on the beach:

"A deckchair.."

Name a method of cooking fish:

"Cod.."

Name something you borrow from your partner:

"Shoes.."

Name a part of the body beginning with N:

"Knee.."

Name something red:

"My cardigan.."

Name something with a hole in it:

"A window.."

Name something you put on walls:

"Roofs.."

Name something that floats in the bath:

"Water.."

Name something in the garden that's green:

"The shed.."

Name something a blind man might use:

"A sword.."

Name the last thing you take off before going to bed:

"Your feet.."

---------------------------

Family Fortunes Faux pas, Part Deux!

‘Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

Family Fortunes is a bit of a goldmine for a blog like this. Nowhere does stupidity become more apparent than when a bit of pressure is added to the mix, in these cases the time constraint of trying to answer a question as quickly as possible.

Hope this selection makes you smile this weekend.

Name a measurement of liquid:

"Paint.."

Name a famous Dick:

"Carrot.."

Name something that comes in 7's:

"Fingers.."

Name a vocalist known by only one name:

"Michael Jackson.."

Name something you hide in your socks when you go swimming:

"Your legs.."

Name a place you would keep a pen:

"A zoo.."

Name something associated with rain:

"Water.."

Name something you make into a ball:

"Eggs.."

Name a game that uses a black ball:

"Darts.."

Name a popular TV soap:

"Dove.."

Other than 'carrier', name a type of bag:

"Horse.."

Name something you might find in a garage:

"a grand piano.."

Name something a Frenchman would say:

"On Garde.."

Name something that has a shell:

"Batman.."

Name something a policeman might say:

"Spread 'em.."

Name a non-living object with legs:

"A plant.."

Name a sign of the Zodiac:

"April.."

Name an animal associated with a nursery rhyme:

"Andy Pandy.."

Name a mode of transport that you can walk in:

"Your shoes.."

Name an animal with big ears:

"A bear.."

Name something you do on water:

"Wallpaper.."

Name a musical instrument you can play in the bath:

"A drum kit.."

Name something associated with Egypt:

"Cigars.."

Name a part of your body you only have one of:

"Your big toe.."

Name something you pull:

"A potato.."

Name something you open other than a door:

"Your bowels.."

Name something people might be allergic to:

"Skiing.."

Name an occupation where you need a torch:

"A burglar.."

Name a dangerous race:

"The Arabs.."

Name some famous brothers:

"Bonnie and Clyde.."

Great Game Show One-Liners

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

 .

Hi loyal blog readers, I'm back. I haven't been able to do a post for a few days, work pressures by day and absolutely sweltering heat at night. But here I am again.  

One of the things I did get a chance to do was find some of the game show stuff I had filed away. If you need a funny one-liner then there is probably no better source than programs like Family Fortunes. It's quite amazing the things that people will say when in a pressure situation.

Here's a few examples that made me chuckle. Hope they do the same for you.

Q. Name an orange vegetable:

A. "Aubergine..."

Q. Name an animal you cannot fit into a Mini car:

A. "Mouse.."

Q. Name something made of wool:

A. "Cotton wool.."

Q. Name an animal with three letters:

A. "Lion.."

Q. Name a bad place to fall asleep:

A. "Concrete.."

Q. Name something you mount:

A. "A mountain.."

Q. Name something you lose when you get older:

A. "Your purse.."

Q. Name a sport which involves throwing something:

A. "Tennis.."

Q. Name a type of bean:

A. "Lesbian.."

Q. Name something you would play with in the bath:

A. "A bazooka.."

Q. Name someone you wouldn't swear in front of:

A. "Yourself.."

Q. Name a country where Arabic is spoken:

A. "Nigeria.."

Q. Name someone or something whose existence has never been proven:

A. "Hitler.."

Q. Name a number you might have to memorise:

A. "Seven.."

Q. Name something that makes you close your eyes:

A. "Dark.."

Q. Name something that comes in pairs:

A. "Rabbits.."

Q. Name a way of toasting someone:

A. "Over a fire.."

Q. Name a Boy's name beginning with the letter J:

A. "Gerald.."

Q. Name a type of oil:

A. "Sewing-machine oil.."

Q. Name a word beginning with Z:

A. "Xylophone.."

Q. Name a slang word for a girl:

A. "Slag.."

Q. Name an animal with horns:

A. "A bee..."

Q. Name a medieval weapon:

A. "Hand-grenade.."

Q. Name something made of wool:

A. "A sheep.."

Q. Name something a bridegroom might wear:

A. "A dress.."

Q. Name something a train-spotter would have in his pocket:

A. "A magnifying glass.."

Q. Name someone who works early hours:

A. "A burglar.."

Q. Name something made to be wheeled around:

A. "A hammer.."

Q. Name a reason for kneeling:

A. "To be beheaded.."

Q. Name a nickname for a slim person:

A. "Slimmy.."