Showing posts with label tv. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tv. Show all posts

Monday, August 20, 2012

Hurrah! It’s Another Meet More Morons Monday!


“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


Yes, Monday has rolled round again. And that means it’s time to meet more morons from the quiz show answers archive.

As always, a warning to those of a nervous disposition – this post contains some extreme stupidity, so handle with care.

Enjoy!



Q: Like "sugar bowl", a bowl that's named for the substance it contains   

A: Toilet bowl



Q: Name something your body has that begins with the letter "L"

A: Lice 



Q: Name something that makes you feel uneasy all day long if you forget to do it in the morning

A: Get dressed 



Q: Name a vegetable you stuff 

A: Brussels sprouts
A: Watermelon 



Q: Name a kind of place where it's smart to know where the exits are      

A: Church         



Q: Name something a man might buy his girlfriend a pair of       

A: Boobs



Q: Name an expensive holiday, besides Christmas        

A: Wedding      



Q: What is a slang name for policeman?

A: Dick



Q: What is something that you have to do to get your husband's attention during the Super Bowl?          

A: Take off your clothes



Q: What is the longest you've ever been on the telephone?

A: Alaska         



Q: Name a real or fictional, a famous Willie        

A: Willie-the-Pooh         



Q: Name a beverage you stir before drinking     

A: Water          



Q: Name a food that makes noise when you eat it          

A: A really loud hamburger         



Q: Name something a duck and a chicken have in common        

A: They quack  



Q: Name another word for sleep

A: Sleeping
A: A coma



Q: What is a slang word for "wife"?       

A: Bitch           



Q: Name something that is transplanted

A: Brain



Q: Name a noisy bird    

A: Chipmunk    



Q: Name something you would cheat on if you knew you wouldn't get caught     

A: Family Feud 



Q: Name a street name that is common to cities all over the US  

A: Hollywood Boulevard 



Q: Name something you tune    

A: Fish 



Q: What shouldn't you do in someone else's car?          

A: Pass gas
A: Get arrested



Q: Name a game played on a table besides cards         

A: Poker          



Q: Name something you rent for a party

A: Food



Q: Name a party game that would be more fun to play in the nude          

A: Monopoly
A: Chess          



Q: Name a vegetable you marinate        

A: Grapes        



Q: Name something you'd hate to discover was living in your attic          

A: Furniture      



Q: Name something Russia is famous for          

A: Russians     



Q: Name a farm animal that the farmer may grow so fond of, he might not want to eat it  

A: Dog



Q: Name something a teenage boy can do for hours      

A: Masturbate   


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Monday, July 23, 2012

Quiz Show Answers Monday Strikes Again!


“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


Let’s start off the new week with a little bit lighter post than yesterday.

If it’s Monday it must be time for another selection of answers from television quiz shows, the programs where ordinary members of the general public are given the chance to show the world what they know – often it isn’t very much as you will see from the list below.

Enjoy!



Q: What was the principal language used by the ancient Romans?

A:  Greek



Q: Alderney and Sark – are they part of the Channel Islands?

A:  Ooooh! Is that the English Channel? I don't know, are there islands in the English Channel? I've never heard of any. France – that's near the English Channel, isn't it?



Q: "Which Duke resides at Woburn Abbey?

A:  Hazzard



Q: What name does Cat Stevens go under now? I'll give you a clue, he became a Muslim...

A: Abu Hamza



Q:  What kind of dozen is 13?

A:  Half a dozen



Q: Who was the Prime Minister before Tony Blair?

A:  George Bush



Q: Of all Beatrix Potter's books, which is the only one to feature a human in the title?

A:  Peter Rabbit



Q: Who painted the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel?

A:  Leonardo Di Caprio



Q: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loincloth did he play?

A:  Jesus



Q: What was Hitler's first name?

A:  Heil




Q: Beethoven was the first composer to use what sliding brass instrument in a symphony?         

A:  Violin          



Q: After a 76-year absence, what comet last appeared in 1986?  

A:  Spider-Man



Q: What is both a Chinese appetizer and a traditional Easter event?        

A:  Wonton Dim sum     



Q: What city bills itself as the entertainment capital of the world?

A:  Universal Studios




Q: What "U" are the Eastern Europeans who originated the tradition of painting Easter eggs?

A:  Yugoslavians          



Q: What "S" is the nearest star to the earth?       

A:  Saturn        



Q: What "R" was named for its ability to erase or rub out pencil marks?  

A:  Eraser        



Q: What "W" has a brain the size of a cherry and can impact a tree at 1300 MPH?           

A:  Water buffalo   (Correct answer: Woodpecker)          



Q: What "T" can travel at speeds of up to 900 feet per second? 

A:  Turtle          



Q: What "E" is the world's highest mountain?     

A:  Everglades



Q: What "W" is Ronald Reagan's middle name? 

A:  We-publican



Q: What "S" is the US's number one import from Manchuria?      

A:  Spaghetti



Q: What is the Asian practice of temporary tattooing, used for special occasions?          

A:  Hentai         



Q: What is the only mammal capable of true flight?        

A:  Pterodactyl 



Q: In botany, what is the scientific term for a plant that lives for more than two years?     

A:  A tree



Q: In Star Wars, what peacekeeping force includes the ranks Padawan and Knight?        

A:  Space Invaders       



Q: In 2002, C. Ray Nagin, Jr. succeeded Marc Morial as the mayor of what city? 

A:  New Jersey (Correct answer: New Orleans)



Q: A wild animal that can be found roaming the suburbs

A: Lion



Q: Something a husband and wife should have separate of        

A: Parents        



Q: A drink you recognize by its smell    

A: Potatoes      



Q: An occupation where you can make a lot of money without a lot of brains      

A: A drug dealer



Q: Something you'd hate to find out about the guy you almost married (100 women)       

A: He's a she   



Q: A planet you recognize just by looking at a picture of it         

A: The Moon    



Q: A way to make bathing a sexy experience     

A: In the nude



Q: Where you were the first time you saw the person you married           

A: District Attorney's office        



Q: A month of spring    

A: Summer       



Q: The month of pregnancy where a woman begins to look pregnant      

A: September   



Q: Something you squeeze       

A: Peanut butter           

=================================


Monday, July 16, 2012

More Manic Monday Moron Madness



“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


Another manic Monday has been thrust upon us. Feels like a tough week to me already.

So let’s start with a few funnies. Another selection from the tv quiz show archive. I have a few favorites in this lot, I hope you find something to chuckle about too.

Enjoy.



What girl's name is a term for a short prayer or thanks before a meal?

“Mary”



What is twenty multiplied by fifty?

“A hundred and ten”



The towns of El Paso and San Antonio are in which US state?

“South America”



What is six multiplied by three?

“Nine”



Apart from Earth which planet in our solar system begins with a vowel?

“Pluto”



In hairdressing a tuft of hair which persistently sticks up is called a 'cow...' what?

“Horn”



What sport do you play on grass with rackets?

“Cricket”



What insect has many limbs, although the name would suggest that it has one hundred? 

“A giraffe”



What glen in Scotland was the scene of a famous battle?

“Glenfiddich”



What is the silent last letter in the word 'ballet' ?

“Y” 



Which popular hot drink is an anagram of the word 'eat' ?

“Chocolate”



What F is a pink African wading bird?

“Albatross”



What place in Australia is called 'Springs' preceded by a girls name?

“Hope”



What 'V' is a dilute acetic acid and is used as a condiment?

“Bicarbonate of soda”



What is the highest double-figured number?

“Twenty-five”



The Mexican War was fought over a border dispute with which other country?

“Spain”



The book by Lord Baden-Powell is called 'Scouting For..' what?

“Trade”



What 'D' is the word for rain which also indicates which way the rain is falling?

“Direction”



In America the 18th century protestation about taxes was called 'The Boston..' what?

“Uprising”



How many playing cards are displayed in the trick 'Find the lady'?

“Twelve”



What is the name of the long tapering button which is used to fasten a duffle coat?

“Zip”



What's fourteen plus sixteen?

“Twenty”



============================

Sunday, July 1, 2012

When You Read This Post You Will Feel A Lot Smarter


“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


Yesterday I inflicted a test on you, sorry about that.

Today, you will get your chance to see how others fared in their test results.

Yes, it’s another selection of my favorites, the TV Quiz Show Answers!!!

Any time you think the human race is evolving into something a bit smarter, just watch a few quiz shows on TV. Dumb and dumber are still here and likely to be so for some considerable time.

Enjoy!




What is the highest prime number under ten?

“Eleven”



What was the last state to join the USA?

“Canada”



What kind of dozen is thirteen?

“Half a dozen”



How many 'E's are there in 'argument'?

“Three”



Sri Lanka is situated to the south-east of which Asian country?

“South Africa”



What is the capital of Iraq?

“Iran”



The equator divides the world into how many hemispheres?

“Three”



In which film did Dudley Moore star as the title character?

“10”



Which three-letter word is known as 'the definite article'?

“It”



Who initiated the Chinese cultural revolution?

“Ming”



The name of which famous racehorse was the word 'murder' spelt backwards?

“Shergar”



Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?

“Bombay”



What is the correct name for the Australian wild dog?

“Dingbat”



What does a bat use to facilitate flying in the dark?

“Wings”



Which South American country has borders with ten others?

“China”



Which city was chosen to host the first Chinese Grand Prix?

“Tokyo”



Complete the title of the well-known play: 'The Iceman..'?

“Melts”



In what European country was actor Antonio Banderas born?

“Mexico”



What 'C' is a wine drunk on special occasions?

“Chardonnay”



What 'Z' is used to describe a human who has returned from the dead?

“Unicorn”


The province of Ontario is situated in which Commonwealth country?

“America”



When people watch too much TV they are warned that which part of their body will turn square?

“Backside”



Friday, June 15, 2012

Family Fortunes Faux pas, Part Deux!


‘Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”



Family Fortunes is a bit of a goldmine for a blog like this. Nowhere does stupidity become more apparent than when a bit of pressure is added to the mix, in these cases the time constraint of trying to answer a question as quickly as possible.

Hope this selection makes you smile this weekend.



Name a measurement of liquid:

"Paint.."



Name a famous Dick:

"Carrot.."



Name something that comes in 7's:

"Fingers.."



Name a vocalist known by only one name:

"Michael Jackson.."



Name something you hide in your socks when you go swimming:

"Your legs.."



Name a place you would keep a pen:

"A zoo.."



Name something associated with rain:

"Water.."



Name something you make into a ball:

"Eggs.."



Name a game that uses a black ball:

"Darts.."



Name a popular TV soap:

"Dove.."



Other than 'carrier', name a type of bag:

"Horse.."



Name something you might find in a garage:

"a grand piano.."


Name something a Frenchman would say:

"On Garde.."



Name something that has a shell:

"Batman.."



Name something a policeman might say:

"Spread 'em.."



Name a non-living object with legs:

"A plant.."



Name a sign of the Zodiac:

"April.."



Name an animal associated with a nursery rhyme:

"Andy Pandy.."



Name a mode of transport that you can walk in:

"Your shoes.."



Name an animal with big ears:

"A bear.."



Name something you do on water:

"Wallpaper.."



Name a musical instrument you can play in the bath:

"A drum kit.."



Name something associated with Egypt:

"Cigars.."



Name a part of your body you only have one of:

"Your big toe.."



Name something you pull:

"A potato.."



Name something you open other than a door:

"Your bowels.."



Name something people might be allergic to:

"Skiing.."



Name an occupation where you need a torch:

"A burglar.."



Name a dangerous race:

"The Arabs.."



Name some famous brothers:

"Bonnie and Clyde.."



Thursday, June 7, 2012

Great Game Show One-Liners


“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
 .

Hi loyal blog readers, I'm back. I haven't been able to do a post for a few days, work pressures by day and absolutely sweltering heat at night. But here I am again.  

One of the things I did get a chance to do was find some of the game show stuff I had filed away. If you need a funny one-liner then there is probably no better source than programs like Family Fortunes. It's quite amazing the things that people will say when in a pressure situation.

Here's a few examples that made me chuckle. Hope they do the same for you.



Q. Name an orange vegetable:
A. "Aubergine..."


Q. Name an animal you cannot fit into a Mini car:
A. "Mouse.."


Q. Name something made of wool:
A. "Cotton wool.."


Q. Name an animal with three letters:
A. "Lion.."


Q. Name a bad place to fall asleep:
A. "Concrete.."


Q. Name something you mount:
A. "A mountain.."


Q. Name something you lose when you get older:
A. "Your purse.."


Q. Name a sport which involves throwing something:
A. "Tennis.."


Q. Name a type of bean:
A. "Lesbian.."


Q. Name something you would play with in the bath:
A. "A bazooka.."


Q. Name someone you wouldn't swear in front of:
A. "Yourself.."


Q. Name a country where Arabic is spoken:
A. "Nigeria.."


Q. Name someone or something whose existence has never been proven:
A. "Hitler.."


Q. Name a number you might have to memorise:
A. "Seven.."


Q. Name something that makes you close your eyes:
A. "Dark.."


Q. Name something that comes in pairs:
A. "Rabbits.."


Q. Name a way of toasting someone:
A. "Over a fire.."


Q. Name a Boy's name beginning with the letter J:
A. "Gerald.."


Q. Name a type of oil:
A. "Sewing-machine oil.."


Q. Name a word beginning with Z:
A. "Xylophone.."


Q. Name a slang word for a girl:
A. "Slag.."


Q. Name an animal with horns:
A. "A bee..."


Q. Name a medieval weapon:
A. "Hand-grenade.."


Q. Name something made of wool:
A. "A sheep.."


Q. Name something a bridegroom might wear:
A. "A dress.."


Q. Name something a train-spotter would have in his pocket:
A. "A magnifying glass.."


Q. Name someone who works early hours:
A. "A burglar.."


Q. Name something made to be wheeled around:
A. "A hammer.."


Q. Name a reason for kneeling:
A. "To be beheaded.."


Q. Name a nickname for a slim person:
A. "Slimmy.."