Who’s To Blame In The Silly Name Game?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

I have witnessed many strange phenomena as I have traveled through life, but one of the most consistent and enduring is to do with something very simple. Peoples’ names.

I’m not talking about the names that parents choose for their offsprings, although some of them particularly in the celebrity world can be quite ridiculous. For example, Nicholas Cage named his son ‘Kal-El’ (wow, super man!); Jason Lee chose ‘Pilot Inspektor’; and Forest Whittaker’s four kids have been lumbered with ‘Ocean’, ‘Sonnet’, ‘True’, and ‘Autumn’. But in the celebrity stakes the fruitcake prize has to go to Frank Zappa who named his unfortunate children ‘Dweezil’, ‘Moon Unit’, ‘Diva Thin Muffin’ and ‘Ahmet’. Arrrggggghhhhh!  

Similarly, parents should give some thought to how a Christian or first name will pair with their surname. If your surname is Hunt, for example, you really don’t want to name your son Michael, or if the family name happens to be Head, then Richard should also be avoided.

However, amusing as that made be, those are what you could almost call self-inflicted wounds. What I am really referring to are surnames, the names we don’t get to choose unless of course we go to the extreme of changing them by deed poll.

A slight digression here, but that reminds me of a guy in Britain named Michael Howerd who got so pissed off with his bank when they charged him £20 for a £10 overdraft that he changed his name by deed poll to "Yorkshire Bank plc are Fascist Bastards", the name the bank had to use on a check repaying the residue of his account.

But getting back to peoples’ surnames, one of the interesting things is that no matter how stupid, crazy, amusing or whatever the surname may be, the people to whom they belong hardly ever seem to find anything wrong with them – otherwise they would change them.

This is getting a bit near the knuckle, and terribly juvenile, but we used to know a family named Kuntz. They were oblivious to the hilarity their name provoked, but the rest of us had great fun. “Who’s that at the door?” someone would ask. “Oh it’s the Kuntz from next door,” would invariably be the answer, followed by much laughter. We were always smiling when they came to visit, I think they thought we were just pleased to see them!

Never came across that name? Check this out, click here for the link   

Of course, if you are female and lumbered with a terrible surname there is another easy way out. Get married! Like everything else, a great solution in theory. In practice it doesn’t always work out as the following newspaper announcements prove.

Enjoy!

A Few More Funnies For Friday

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

I have the pleasure of presenting another lot of public faux-pas from the quiz show stable. These are a constant source of amusement for me, and I hope for you too. The sheer absurdity of some of the answers just leaves me in amazement at what is going on inside these peoples’ heads.

In this lot “Name a bird with a long neck” was my favorite, but have a read through them and pick your own winner.

Enjoy.

Name a part of the body you have more than two of:

"Arms.."

Name something you do before going to bed:

"Sleep.."

Name something you might do in a power cut:

"Read a book.."

Name a famous Parisian landmark:

"Hawaii.."

Name the first place detectives look for fingerprints:

"The floor.."

Name something you associate with the sea:

"A coffin.."

Name a famous Arthur:

"Shakespeare.."

Name something people take to the beach:

"Turkey.."

Name something a girl should know about a man before marrying him:

"His name.."

Name a bird with a long neck:

"Naomi Campbell.."

Name an item of clothing a woman might borrow from a man:

"Underpants.."

Name something taken from a hotel as a souvenir:

"The lamps.."

Name something you keep in a garden shed:

"A gardener.."

Name a song with moon in the title:

"Blue Suede Moon.."

Name a famous cowboy:

"Buck Rogers.."

Name a famous Wild-West character:

"Wild Bill Eacock.."

Name a fruit used in fruit salad:

"Cucumber.."

Name something you wear on the beach:

"A deckchair.."

Name a method of cooking fish:

"Cod.."

Name something you borrow from your partner:

"Shoes.."

Name a part of the body beginning with N:

"Knee.."

Name something red:

"My cardigan.."

Name something with a hole in it:

"A window.."

Name something you put on walls:

"Roofs.."

Name something that floats in the bath:

"Water.."

Name something in the garden that's green:

"The shed.."

Name something a blind man might use:

"A sword.."

Name the last thing you take off before going to bed:

"Your feet.."

---------------------------

Another Edition Of Stupidity Is Legal

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”



They tell me it’s Monday again. Where do the weeks go? Still, there isn’t much we can do about it but start the week with a bit of a laugh.


This is another selection from my “stupidity is legal” file. Some of these are so daft that they are bound to raise a chuckle or two. I hope so anyhow. And I also hope that there are no repeats from other post, although I cannot guarantee that. Even if you have read some of them before they are the kind of thing that can stand a second or third or fourth read without lessening the enjoyment too much.


Here we go.

Lawyer: Mrs. Smith, you do believe that you are emotionally unstable?

Witness: I used to be.

Lawyer: How many times have you committed suicide?

Witness: Four times.

- - - - - - - - - -

Lawyer: Were you acquainted with the deceased?

Witness: Yes, sir.

Lawyer: Before or after he died?

- - - - - - - - - -

Lawyer: You say you're innocent, yet five people swore they saw you steal a watch.

Witness: Your Honor, I can produce 500 people who didn't see me steal it.

- - - - - - - - - -

Lawyer: When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?

Mr. BROOKS: Objection. That question should be taken out and shot.

- - - - - - - - - -

Lawyer: At the time you first saw Dr. McCarty, had you ever seen him prior to that time?

- - - - - - - - - -

Lawyer: Did the lady standing at the driveway subsequently identify herself to you?

Witness: Yes, she did.

Lawyer: Who did she say she was?

Witness: She said she was the owner of the dog's wife.

- - - - - - - - - -

Lawyer: Please state the location of your right foot immediately prior to impact.

Witness: Immediately before the impact, my right foot was located at the immediate end of my right leg.

- - - - - - - - - -

Lawyer: You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?

- - - - - - - - - -

Lawyer: "Sir, what is your IQ?"

Witness: "Well, I can see pretty well, I think."

- - - - - - - - - -

Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"

Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."

- - - - - - - - - -

Lawyer: "What is your brother-in-law's name?"

Witness: "Borofkin."

Lawyer: "What's his first name?"

Witness: "I can't remember."

Lawyer: "He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name?"

Witness: "No. I tell you, I'm too excited." (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) "Nathan, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name!"

- - - - - - - - - -

Lawyer: "Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?"

Witness: "No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region."

- - - - - - - - - -

Lawyer: "What is your marital status?"

Witness: "Fair."

- - - - - - - - - - 

Lawyer: "Are you married?"

Witness: "No, I'm divorced."

Lawyer: "And what did your husband do before you divorced him?"

Witness: "A lot of things I didn't know about."

- - - - - - - - - -

The Court: "Now, as we begin, I must ask you to banish all present information and prejudice from your minds, if you have any."

- - - - - - - - - -

Lawyer: "Did you tell your lawyer that your husband had offered you indignities?"

Witness: "He didn't offer me nothing. He just said I could have the furniture."

- - - - - - - - - -

Lawyer: "So, after the anesthesia, when you came out of it, what did you observe with respect to your scalp?"

Witness: "I didn't see my scalp the whole time I was in the hospital."

Lawyer: "It was covered?"

Witness: "Yes, bandaged."

Lawyer: "Then, later on...what did you see?"

Witness: "I had a skin graft. My whole buttocks and leg were removed and put on top of my head."

- - - - - - - - - -

Lawyer: "The truth of the matter is that you were not an unbiased, objective witness, isn't it? You too were shot in the fracas."

Witness: "No, sir. I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval."

===============

It Always Surprises Me How One Thing Leads To Another!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

I have no idea why that should be, I mean why it always surprises me how one thing leads to another. After all where else can one thing go? It’s the logical sequence, it has to happen that way. I think what I really mean is, the surprise is what you are led to. It is hardly ever the thing you were expecting.

Every one of us knows from hours of experience how difficult it is to switch on the computer or log on to the internet on a smart phone or other device and be self-disciplined enough to just search for the thing we initially wanted to look for. Countless times in my experience I have gone on to the internet with the sole purpose of maybe checking some stats or looking up some information relating to a business problem, or a health issue perhaps, only to find an hour or so later that I’m on a completely different tack, forgotten completely about why I started, and now absorbed in some other information that has nothing to do with the job at hand.

Entertaining it certainly is. Enjoyable too, without a doubt. Informative, yes it can be (although you shouldn’t believe everything you read on the internet – unless it appears in this blog of course). And a waste of time? That one is debatable. I think not. Nothing is a waste of time if it is providing any or all of the above attributes – entertainment, enjoyment or information.

One of my favorite sayings is, “It’s a sad day you don’t learn something,” and I am glad to report that in that regard I do not have any sad days. Every day I learn something, usually not what I expected and sometimes the lessons can be very harsh, but it all counts towards bettering oneself and providing valuable experience for the future.

So when I looked at my blog today I had a very different subject in my head to write about. Then I read a comment from my blog-friend coastalcrone on yesterdays blog post “Today Is A Beautiful Day”, part of which sparked off what you are now reading.

Coastalcrone said, “For me words are so visual… they have to look right for me too.”

Now one can analyze any writing from a grammatical viewpoint, or the construction of sentences and paragraphs, or the balance and rhythm of the words, or on its aesthetic content, or on many other different levels. That’s what they do when they study literature at universities, tearing apart and analyzing writing and writers. Sometimes I think that is valuable and informative; at other times I think that they don’t have a clue what they are talking about and have read far, far more into a piece than the writer originally intended. (Most writers, though, are happy to go along with such academic pronouncements because it makes them appear a bit more clever that they would be if they denied them.)

However, all that academic stuff aside, the part of coastalcrone’s comment that promoted all this was really the first part, “… words are so visual”.

Words are visual. Indeed they are. A good description of a person, or a scene, or an incident, conjures up the image in the reader’s mind, and so it should. The better the writing and the writer, the better the visuals the reader experiences.

But, and it’s a big bold BUT, the visual experience is not the writer’s, it always belongs to the reader. The writer is simply the catalyst.

No matter how precise and detailed a description is, if it is a description of something we have not personally witnessed (in other words someone describing a fictitious person or place, or even for example a valley or lake in Australia or India which most of us will never have seen, as opposed to a $10 bill or a laptop computer) a different image will be conjured up in the minds of each individual.

I’m sure you have read a book and then later gone to see the movie. Very seldom if ever does your own visual image agree with the film maker’s. At the moment I can only think of one occasion when my own visual interpretation of a book almost exactly matched the movie interpretation. That was Alastair MacLean’s “Where Eagles Dare”, an excellent World War II espionage thriller and an equally excellent movie. That was probably because MacLean wrote the book and movie screenplay more or less at the same time. (Btw, I don’t mean that I had Richard Burton and Clint Eastwood in my visual picture – that would have been too crazy, even for me!)  

Of course the converse is easier to come to grips with. If you see the movie and then read the book, the movie-maker’s visuals, rather than your own, are already in your head. Sometimes that’s okay, if the movie has been a reasonably close interpretation of the book. If they don’t gel well then the one can easily spoil the enjoyment of the other.

And visual interpretations also hold for the spoken as well as the written word. If one hears something described on the radio, for example, it can produce visual images in one’s mind. Not only that, however, but one often gets an imaginary picture of what the person speaking looks like. It can sometimes come as a bit of shock when you see the person on tv or in real life. I’ve heard people remarking on more than one occasion that so-and-so “isn’t like his voice”.

Even when you meet people, you can also have preconceived ideas about them in the few seconds between seeing them and hearing them speak. Some say that that is conclusive proof that light travels faster than sound, i.e. that most people seem bright until you hear them speak.

Of course one should be mature enough to accept people as they are. What one should definitely not do is laugh at some unfortunate with a voice that doesn’t fit them. Admittedly it can be funny, as this talk show host found out when carrying out a tv interview some years ago.

Let’s have a little experiment and see how good you are. You know you shouldn’t laugh but I rather think you might. I did! Quite a lot L But at the host, naturally! :) 

Enjoy!  

You’d Think It Should Be Easy, But You’d Be Wrong!

“Fight Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

One of my best friends is a farmer. Or was, he sold up a few years ago, tired of the long hours in all sorts of inclement weather. But he did it for many years and has a host of good stories about incidents that happened during that time.

He was a dairy farmer for a good part of his farming career. As a result he has a healthy respect, but also more than a little contempt for cows. In fact he says they are probably the stupidest animal he has ever come across. (He hasn’t met our dog that thinks it’s a cat yet!)

He says that a cow is probably the only animal that is stupid enough to get stuck behind a open gate. Actually I’ve seen this happen myself. If a field gate is partially open at least one of them will get between it and the hedge or fence and they don’t seem to be able to figure out how to reverse and take a new route out of the field.

If you’re having a laugh at that, good. It’s even funnier when you see it in person I assure you. But there’s something even stupider than the cow I fear. That is people, some people! Take this lady in the video below.

All she has to do is reverse her car out of the garage.

Simple?

Of course not!

Have a look (I’m not sure I would like her driving my kids around, would you?)

(Acknowledgements and thanks to Pradeep for finding this one)

In The Emergency Room

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

If television programs like ‘ER’ are anything to go by, it can get frantic in the emergency rooms of some hospitals. Everything seems to happen at breakneck speed. Give me the thingummy-bob STAT and all that sort of thing.

Unless you have the misfortune to need to visit an emergency room in the UK. Then you’ll be urgently placed in a queue for two or three hours, maybe a lot longer! I have heard so many horror stories about the waiting times there.

Hopefully the doctors don’t make too many mistakes, but here are a few examples of what I think we could call medical bloopers as reported by the Doctors themselves.

Enjoy.

1. From Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Francisco

A man comes into the ER and yells, 'My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!'

I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her under- wear.

Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs --- and I was in the wrong one.

2. From Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA

At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall.

'Big breaths,' I instructed.

'Yes, they used to be,' replied the patient.

3. From Dr. Susan Steinberg

One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarction.

Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a 'massive internal fart.'

4. From Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA

During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications.

'Which one?' I asked. 'The patch, the nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!' I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see.

Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!

Now, the instructions ; include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

5. From Dr. Steven Swanson-Corvallis, OR

While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, 'How long have you been bedridden?'

After a look of complete confusion she answered.

'Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive.'

6. From Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI

I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking up on a woman I asked, 'So how's your breakfast this morning?'

'It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste', the patient replied.

I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled 'KY Jelly.'

7. From RN no name

A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered.

It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery.

When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, 'Keep off the grass.'

Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said, 'Sorry, had to mow the lawn.'

AND FINALLY!!!................

8. From Dr. wouldn't submit his name

As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB, I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams.

To cover my embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.

The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me.

I looked up from my work and sheepishly said, 'I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?'

She replied, 'No doctor, but the song you were whistling was, 'I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener'. 

Stick It Where The Sun Don’t Shine!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

You’ve possibly heard of the saying, “Stick your head where the sun don’t shine”? If you haven’t, or you are not sure what it means just take a quick look at my logo/gravatar for this blog and you’ll get the picture.


My blog post starts in Paderborn, Germany, where an elephant was under the care of overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt.


The problem was that the poor elephant was constipated and had been for a few days. Not a pleasant affliction if you’ve ever had to suffer it.


In his desperation to help the poor elephant Stefan had given it twenty-two doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes.


Not content with that explosive mixture, Fredrich also thought he would give the plugged-up pachyderm an olive oil enema as well.


As he was doing so, however, the first concoction must have done its work. The elephant let fly and dumped two hundred pounds of poop on top of Fredrich.


Unfortunately, according to flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern, "The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him".


With no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before a watchman came along, and during that time he unfortunately suffocated.


It seems to be just one of those freak one-in-a-million accidents that happens.


Er…. Better make that two-in-a-million.


Here’s a video.


Enjoy! 

Dear Abby

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

I must confess as to never having had the urge to write to Dear Abby about any of my problems. I prefer to sort things out myself as best I can and usually that works, not perfectly, but okay. Other people seem to be different, which is a good thing as regards this blog post.

Here are a selection of Dear Abby letters that I enjoyed reading.

As always, I hope you do too.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Dear Abby,

A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese?        

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dear Abby,

What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language and Violence On My VCR?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dear Abby,

I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dear Abby,

I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dear Abby,

I've suspected that my husband has been fooling around, and when confronted with the evidence, he denied everything - and said it would never happen again.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dear Abby,

Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dear Abby,

I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now how do I get out?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dear Abby,

My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every week for two and a half years. He must be crazy.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dear Abby,

I was married to Bill for three months, and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dear Abby,

My mother is mean and short tempered - I think she is going through mental pause.                                   

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dear Abby,

You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex - and he is a doctor. Now what do I do?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dear Abby,

I've been going steady with this man for six years. We see each other every night. He says he loves me, and I know I love him, but he never mentions marriage. Do you think he's going out with me just for what he can get?

Gertie

Dear Gertie,

I don't know. What is he getting?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dear Abby,

My boyfriend is going to be twenty years old next month. I'd like to give him something nice for his birthday. What do you think he'd like?

Carol

Dear Carol,

Never mind what he'd like. Give him a tie.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dear Abby,

Are birth control pills deductible?

Kay

Dear Kay,

Only if they don't work.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dear Abby,

Our son was married in January. Five months later his wife had a ten-pound baby girl. They said the baby was premature. Tell me, can a baby this big be that early?

Wondering

Dear Wondering,

The baby was on time, the wedding was late.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dear Abby,

Do you think about dying much?

Curious

Dear Curious,

No, it's the last thing I want to do.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dear Abby,

Is it possible for a man to be in love with two women at the same time?

Jake

Dear Jake,

Yes, and also hazardous.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dear Abby,

I know boys will be boys, but my 'boy' is seventy-three and he's still chasing women. Any suggestions?

Annie

Dear Annie,

Don't worry. My dog has been chasing cars for years, but if he ever caught one, he wouldn't know what to do with it.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dear Abby,

I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can't afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Any suggestions?

Sam in Cal.

Dear Sam,

Yes. Run for public office.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dumb And Dumber, Part Deaux!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

Just to prove yesterday’s lot of exam answers wasn’t a fluke, here are some more that I discovered, again collated from the UK GCSE exam results.

These young people show an outstanding ignorance on a wide variety of subjects. I imagine a few of them will become successful politicians and bureaucrats one day.

I think some of these are very funny.

I hope you enjoy them too.

GEOGRAPHY

Q: Name the four seasons.

A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.

A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: What is the Equator?

A: "Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa."

Q: How is dew formed?

A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: What is a planet?

A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?

A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

SOCIOLOGY

Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?

A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well-endowed.

Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?

A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

Q: What are steroids?

A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

BIOLOGY

Q: What happens to your body as you age?

A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?

A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q; Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.

A: Premature death.

Q: What is artificial insemination?

A: When the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?

A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (E.g. abdomen.)

A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O and U.

Q: What is the Fibula?

A: A small lie.

Q: What does "varicose" mean?

A: Nearby.

Q: What is the most common form of birth control?

A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section." 

A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.

Q: What is a seizure?

A: A Roman emperor.

Q: What is a terminal illness? 

A: When you are sick at the airport.

Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?

A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.

Q: What is a Fossil?

A: A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is."

Q: What does the term "Germinate” mean?

A: To become a naturalized German.

ENGLISH

Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.

A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?

A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

TECHNOLOGY

Q: What is a turbine?

A: Something an Arab wears on his head.

Q: What is a Vacuum?

A: A Vacuum is a large, empty space where the pope lives."

Q: What is a Magnet?

A: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat."

Q: Define the term Momentum

A: What you give a person when they are going away."

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