Funny Factoid Friday Again, And Another Eighteen Universal Truths

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

This funny factoid Friday I have a few more Universal Truths. As before, that does not mean that every one of them applies to everyone, but weirdly most of them do.

And if you are wondering after you read this, the answer is yes, I have put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint (you’ll see what I mean later!). Oh dear :o(

Enjoy!

1) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.

2) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.

3) Old women with mobile phones look wrong.

4) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.

5) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.

6) You never ever run out of salt.

7) Old ladies can eat more than you think.

8) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.

9) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.

10) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.

11) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.

12) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.

13) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard

14) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint.

15) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal his or her nose.

16) Bricks are horrible to carry.

17) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.

18) Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. 

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It’s Another Funny Factoid Friday, Here Are Eighteen Universal Truths

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

It’s another Friday and time for a few more of what I call factoids, although this list is entitled Universal Truths.

That does not mean that every one of them applies to everyone, but from personal experience I can vouch for the accuracy of quite a lot of them.

Enjoy!



1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.



2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.



3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a bar is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronized with a complete stranger.



4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.



5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.



6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.



7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.




8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.



10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.



11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.



12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.



13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.



14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.



15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.



16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.



17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.



18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.


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Do You Know…. Yes, It’s Another Flipping Fun Filled Factoid Friday!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

It’s Friday again and what better day to indulge in a little more factoid fun. Start your weekend off full of useless knowledge that you can impress and bore your friends with.

Enjoy!

Do you know….

That 80 percent of Harvard students graduate with honors

That the chances that a burglary in the US will be solved are 1 in 7

That the government owns one third of all the land in the US

That they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM.  Why?

That James Buchanan was the only US President to remain a bachelor

That the only first lady to carry a loaded revolver was Eleanor Roosevelt

That the only US President to win a Pulitzer was John F. Kennedy, for "Profiles in Courage"

That the only US President to be awarded a patent was Abraham Lincoln, for a system of buoying vessels over shoals

That the US President who discovered a new proof for The Pythagorean Theorem was Jimmy Carter  (I think is was hidden under the oval office carpet)

That cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there, duh?

What happens if you are in a vehicle going the speed of light and you turn on the headlights?

That honey is the only food that does not spoil

That a Hummingbird is the only bird that can fly backwards

That Antarctica is the only continent without reptiles or snakes

Why is the word “lisp” spelled with all the letters that people with that affliction cannot pronounce?

That a pig is the only animal besides human that can get sunburn

That ostriches stick their heads in the sand to look for water

That an eagle can kill a young deer and fly away with it

That in the Caribbean there are oysters that can climb trees

That for some strange reason Americans drive on parkways and park on driveways.

That polar bears are left-handed

Why is “dyslexic” such a difficult word to spell?

That when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio

That Eskimos never gamble  -  I bet you didn’t know that.

That the world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910

That the youngest pope was 11 years old

That Mark Twain didn't graduate from elementary school

That proportional to their weight, men are stronger than horses

That when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo

That Pilgrims ate popcorn at the first Thanksgiving dinner

What would happen if you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height?

That your nose and ears never stop growing

Why isn't “phonetic” spelled the way it sounds?

That Jupiter is bigger than all the other planets combined  -  Uranus!  -  No, Jupiter.

That they have square watermelons in Japan ... they stack better

That Iceland consumes more Coca-Cola per capita than any other nation

Why your nose runs and your feet smell?

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The Curious Case Of The Coroner's Conundrum

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

In 1994, at the annual awards dinner given by the American Association for Forensic Science, their then president, Don Harper Mills, astounded his audience in San Diego with the legal complications of a bizarre death.

Needless to say it featured an idiot, in fact several idiots, which is why it is being recounted on the fasab blog.

This is the unlikely story.

On 23 March 1994, the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. 

The deceased had jumped from the top of a ten-story building intending to commit suicide. He had left behind a note indicating his depression.

As he fell past the ninth floor, his attempt to kill himself was interrupted by a shotgun blast through a window, which killed him instantly. 

Neither the shooter nor the jumper were aware that a safety net had been erected at the eighth floor level to protect some window washers and that Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide because of this.

Ordinarily, if a person sets out with the intention of killing himself and ultimately succeeds, even though the mechanism might not be what he originally intended, the death would be deemed a suicide. 

Thus, in normal circumstances, the fact that Opus was shot on the way to certain death nine stories below probably would not have changed his mode of death from suicide to homicide.

However, in this case, the fact that his suicidal intent would not have been successful, because of the safety nets, caused the medical examiner to feel that he had a homicide on his hands. 

The room on the ninth floor where the shotgun blast emanated was occupied by and elderly man and his wife. They were arguing and he was threatening her with the shotgun. But he was so upset that when he pulled trigger he completely missed his wife and the shotgun pellets went through window striking Opus as he fell and killing him. 

The Coroner held that, “When one intends to kill subject A, but kills subject B in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject B.”

However, when confronted with this charge, the old man and his wife were both adamant that neither knew that the shotgun was loaded. 

The old man said it was his long standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her - therefore, the killing of Opus appeared to be an accident in that the gun had been accidentally loaded by someone else.

The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple's son loading the shotgun approximately six weeks prior to the fatal incident. It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son's financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother.

The case now became one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus. 

But even that would not be enough to feature in this blog. 

Further investigation revealed that the son, was none other than one Ronald Opus, who had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother's murder.

This had led him to jump off the ten story building on March 23, only to be killed by a blast from the shotgun he had loaded himself some six weeks previously as he fell past the ninth story window of his parents’ apartment.

The medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.