Mandatory Private Health Insurance – Whatever Next?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


I wrote a post on my blog a while ago called “It Always Surprises Me How One Thing Leads To Another!” and so it has again. I was intending another subject for today’s post but a recent comment got me thinking about Obamacare and the recent SCOTUS ruling.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to go into an analyses of that just now apart from making this small point.

When Obamacare (some people call it The Patient Protection and Affordable Healthcare Act), became law on March 23, 2010, it contained a provision that requires all Americans to have private health insurance coverage starting in 2014.

Further than that, any American who does not, will have to pay a penalty, up to 2.5% of his/her income, to the IRS.

Now I know that, if you can afford it, having an adequate health plan is a sensible thing. But legislating to make it compulsory, well, that's a different thing entirely.

I am astounded that more people haven’t been kicking up their heels and screaming about this, which is in effect a tax or fine for something you didn’t do, rather than something you did. But they haven’t. Maybe it is because 2014 is way in the future, like just a few months away (duhh), and therefore nothing needs to be done.

So, I’m thinking if they get away with this, and they seem to have, whatever is next. And then it hit me, so to speak.

Sex.

Some moron either in the Oval office or in a square office in the Senate or Congress will come up with the idea of legislating sex. I don't mean they're going to make it compulsory or otherwise, just that we'll all need to take out relevant insurance to cover it, so to speak.

Now, although you may not have realized it, fasab is a helpful blog. Always going the extra mile to assist people where possible, either by highlighting the bureaucratic bunglers in our midst, or trying to amuse, or being informative.

Today it’s the latter (it isn’t really, it’s the middle one), because I have come across a list of the correct insurance companies for sex. The list can be found below.

Enjoy!  


THE correct Insurance Companies for sex, depending on your tastes) are:


SEX with your wife -   Legal & General


SEX with your future wife-   Mutual Trust


SEX with your secretary -   Employers Liability


SEX with a prostitute -   Commercial Union


SEX on the telephone-   Direct line


SEX with your biographer -   Quote me Happy


SEX in a hurry-   Insure & Go


SEX with your boyfriend -   Standard Life


SEX with a transvestite -   Confused . com


SEX with some one different -   Go compare . com


SEX with a wild animal -   Compare the meerkat . com


SEX with a fat bird -   More Than


SEX on the back seat -   Sheila's Wheels


SEX with a senior -   Saga


SEX with a posh bird -   Privilege .com


SEX with yourself  -  John Hancock Insurance


SEX with safety in mind  -  Protective Life


and finally,


SEX with a sheep -   Farmers Union

My Morning In Bed With Derek!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

I haven’t been blogging for very long. But I have discovered by writing my own and by reading other peoples’ that they can have a way of letting you release some of the things you always wanted to say but never do in other ways. That’s a great thing. Very understated, but very important and a perhaps the best things that blogging is doing.

Thus here I am writing to the world at large (those of it who care to read this blog of course, let’s not get carried away) about the morning I spent in bed with Derek.

There you are. I’ve said it.

Crikey!

I suppose I might as well tell you the whole story.

Now I am ultra firmly in the heterosexual camp, always have been, and intend to remain there, but nevertheless I have to admit that that morning was truly one of the most exciting times I’ve ever had in bed with anyone. It was intense, to say the least!

At the time, I was nicely settled in a beautiful tropical isle, where the power of the internet and its easy communication applications has made it possible for me to spend a lot of time and still keep in touch with the big wide world out there.

One morning, it was a Saturday I think but that doesn’t really matter, I woke up late, around 9’ish, only to find Derek sitting at the bottom of my bed. How he got in I don’t know, but there he was. My eyes were still a bit out of focus, from sleeping, but I could tell he was a big fellow.

He didn’t say a word and neither did I. We just looked at each other, him sitting on the bed and me peeking out rather uncertainly from beneath the bed sheet.

It seemed as if we stayed that way for ages, locked in each other’s gaze.

Then after a while Derek made his move.

Slowly he began to make his way up the bed towards me.

I didn’t know what to do.

Should I also make a move? Or should I remain where I was?

I thought about pulling the bed sheet to one side to let my arms out, but I was afraid that I might inadvertently send the wrong signal to Derek. Would it appear too hostile, or too welcoming. Neither would be appropriate.

It was my first time in this position and my inexperience showed. I just was not sure what would be the right thing to do. Nobody teaches you these things at school. Nobody prepares you for the strange turns that life can sometimes take.

So I just lay there watching intently as Derek made his way up the bed, getting closer and closer to me. It was all done in complete silence.

When he was almost level with my face he stopped.

He turned slightly and stared into my eyes.

I stared into his.

There was something between us that was for sure, a kind of an intimate respect even though we didn’t know each other and in fact had never seen each other before.

I was about to pluck up enough courage to speak to him, but before I had the opportunity he looked away from me and began to move again.

Right up to the head of the bed.

And then on to the wall. 

WTF???

On to the wall?

Well, yes.

Derek was a tarantula spider, and a bloody big one!

The preceding episode had all been a bit like that scene in Dr No where the baddies put a tarantula in James Bond’s bed. Being James Bond, and licensed to kill, he beat the proverbial crap out of his. I just let Derek wander up the wall and on to the ceiling.

Despite the uncertain introduction I have to say that Derek and I became friends. He stayed on the ceiling, most of the time absolutely still, until he took a dart here and there to capture an insect. While he was doing that he was happy and so was I.

This went on for many days.

Then one day, just as mysteriously as he had arrived, he disappeared.

I never saw him again.

Sometimes I miss him!

This is Derek.

And this is James Bond

http://youtu.be/XS3Lb7PZDtQ

Just A Short One

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

Just a short one today, and no pun or admissions intended, by the way.

Africa is a wonderful continent, full of unbelievable scenery and animals. If like spectacular scenery or to see animals in their natural habitat, and you have the time and the money for an unforgettable vacation, you could do a lot worse than try some of the great safari parks they have.

But that aside, Africa has its problems and many of them. One of those problems is endemic sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies.

The Republic of South Africa, which would be one of the more modern and progressive countries in the continent unfortunately has it share too. However the government has tried several  initiatives to help to alleviate the situation.

One of these happened in 1999, when David Horowitz, marketing manager of the Society for Family Health in Johannesburg undertook to run a campaign to promote safer sex.

It turned out to be the worst safe-sex campaign  -  EVER!

In fact Horowitz later had to admit that the campaign had actually dramatically increased the danger of sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancy, rather than curtailing them.

The Society for Family Health had distributed thousands of pamphlets in Zulu, Xhosa, English, Sotho and Afrikaans, all featuring the character Johnny the Condom and warning against unprotected sex. A free government condom was attached to the leaflet.

Great job you would think. But think again, is anything the government ever does a ‘good job’? Not really and certainly not in Africa where money is scarce and everyone is trying to make their resources go as far as possible.

“We made a deal with a low-budget distribution company,” Horowitz admitted.

And unfortunately all the condoms had been stapled to the leaflet!

Whoops!!!

And then there is this apparently true story, that happened just a few years ago, of a German couple who went to a fertility clinic after eight years of marriage to try to find out why they’re still
childless.

This is hard to believe but the answer was apparently that they weren’t having sex. Yip, that’ll do it every time – er, or not, you know what I mean!

The medical crew at the University Clinic of Lubeck said they’d never heard of a case like it.

Doctors subjected the couple to a series of examinations and found they were both apparently fertile and should have had no trouble conceiving.

“When we asked them how often they had sex, they looked blank and said: ‘What do you mean?’”

“We’re not talking retarded people here, but a couple who were brought up in a religious environment who were simply unaware, after eight years of marriage, of the physical requirements necessary to procreate.’”

The 30-year-old wife and her 36-year-old hapless hubby are now being given sex lessons therapy.

Have you had similar experiences? No, forget it, I’m not even going to ask the question today…