A Few Friday Funnies

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

It’s always good to start and end the working week with something amusing. Takes a little of the dread out of Mondays and on Fridays sets the right mood for the weekend.

Here is another selection of examples of the public at large putting pen to paper without engaging brain first. We’ve seen what can happen with lawyers, Church notices, in the ER, and on the 9-1-1 telephones. This time we have a selection of extracts from genuine letters sent to a government Pensions and Insurance Office.

Hope you enjoy.

"I cannot get sick pay. I have six children. Can you tell me why this is?"

"This is my eighth child. What are you doing about it?"

"Mrs. Brown has no clothes and has not had any for a year. The vicar has been visiting her."

"In reply to your letter. I have already co-habited with your office, so far without result."

"I am forwarding my marriage certificate and two children, one of which is a mistake as you will see."

"Sir, I am glad to say my husband, reported missing, is now dead."

"Unless I get my husband's money I shall be forced to lead an immoral life."

"I am writing these lines for Mrs. Green who cannot write herself. She expects to be confined next week and can do with it."

"I have enclosed my marriage certificate and six children. I have some and one died, which was baptized on a half sheet of paper by the Rev. Thomas."

"Please find out if my husband is dead, as the man I am now living with won't eat or do anything until he is sure."

"In answer to your letter I have given birth to a little boy weighing ten pounds. Is this satisfactory?"

"You have changed my little girl into a little boy. Will this make any difference."

"Please send my money at once as I have fallen into errors with my landlord."

"I have no children as my husband is a bus driver and works all day and all night."

"In accordance with your instructions I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope."

"I want money as quick as you can sent it. I have been in bed with my doctor all week and he does not seem to be doing me any good."

"Milk is wanted for my baby as the father is unable to supply it."

"Regarding your enquiry the teeth in the top are alright but the ones in the bottom are hurting terribly."

Cancel The Account!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

Ever had a problem cancelling an account with a telephone company or an ISP? 

I have had a few run-ins with companies like these and I’ll probably write about them in this blog sometime, so if you are interested stay tuned.

Meantime, here is an excellent example of what can happen. This one has become a classic. It’s a recording of a conversation between a guy called Victor Ferarri and an AOL employee there to “help” their customers. The AOL guy lost his job because of this call, and I think you’ll see why.

Two versions below. First is just the phone call. Second is a TV interview with Mr Ferarri. Enjoy. 

Computer Company Helplines!

"Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy" 


I've been working with computers more or less since they became an affordable thing to have. I like them, I enjoy working with them, and they are an extremely powerful tool for business and/or entertainment, not to mention social networking and blogs and stuff (greatly assisted by the internet, of course. Whatever did we do before that???)

 Although I'm no technical genius, I can usually sort out whatever problems I come across (there used to be a lot more to sort out in Windows 95 & 98 days than there are now, although even windows 7 has its moments!). But on a couple of occasions over the years I have also had to resort to phoning a computer helpline for what I hoped would be help, but which was usually no help at all - just frustration.

 I don't know whether any of you have had similar misfortune, but if you have you will no doubt have found that it isn't the greatest esperience in the world. One thing, however, you are always sure somewhere along the line, after you've pressed button '1' for this, button '3' for that, button '6' for the other, etc., to make acquaintance with an idiot who couldn't really give a damn about his job and could care even less about you, the customer, who pays his wages.

 This isn't me on the phone looking for help I hasten to add, but it's a good and amusing illustration of what we're up against.

 ***WARNING: May contain strong language. If you are likely to take offence at this please don't listen to the recording. ***